Many moms are stuck in a pattern of yelling and frustration and can’t seem to get a hold of their emotions. Guess what? I was that person too! Here is an excerpt from my book Ride the Wave: Journey to Peaceful Living that shows you a glimpse of my world just 6 years ago.
I am by nature a very neat person. Systemizing, organizing and cleaning come as easily to me as making messes come to other people. As a child I loved to rearrange my room (although I didn’t always keep it perfectly clean at that time). I was hired to clean houses by members of my church for extra money. To this day I frequently go through drawers, cabinets and closets to get rid of old stuff, donate to Goodwill or repurpose what I have in new ways…not because I have to, but I like to!
After having my third daughter, Amy, not only was I an at-home nursing mother, I had two other preschool-age kids home with me, too. I also had a 1-year-old puppy and two kittens…and a disastrous house! At that time, I had not learned to take care of myself first, which you will learn about in Chapter 2, and I had no idea that anything was wrong with me or my thinking. I simply didn’t know there was any other way to live than how I was living.
I was in a constant state of reactivity, and the main source of my distress was stemming from a messy house. I couldn’t take it. I would spend all day picking up after the girls and end up exhausted and resentful. I never took time off for myself and thought it was my duty to be the caretaker of everyone else. Normally happy and funny (at least I’d like to think so), a dark cloud parked its gloomy shadow over my head. I was overwhelmed. I would snap at the smallest mess, and I was a generally unpleasant person to be around. Yelling, snapping, blaming, criticizing and wishing things were different were part of my everyday life.
If that sounds at all recognizable, know that you are not alone. Now it may not be a messy house for you, but the point is, that when you slow down and take an honest evaluation of where you are and compare that with the ideal that you had imagined, are you content? Are you doing the best you can, but still feel frustrated?
The great news is that it doesn’t have to be that way anymore. You can learn how to systematically take better care of yourself (you’re probably not so good at that, right?) and how to ride the wave of your emotions so you can create the peace and calm you desire at home in your relationship with your spouse and your children in just 90 seconds.
The dynamics in my home have changed dramatically over the past 6 years. There is no longer yelling. No more daily frustration. No more guilt. There IS more smiling, more laughing and more fun. You can have that too when you learn to Ride the Wave!
Join me for the Genius Parent Summit and get real info free from 12 parenting experts who are here to help you find the balance and happiness you deserve to have as a genius parent. It’s free! I’ll be airing live online Wednesday, July 24th at 11am EST/ 8am PST to share my “Ride the Wave” to Peace At-Home in 90 Genius Seconds.
April O’Leary is a Certified Master Life Coach, Author of Ride the Wave: Journey to Peaceful Living and Founder of the University of Moms. She created the Happy Mom Conference to give moms a great excuse to replenish their reserves so they can be the best mom they can be. For more info visit HappyMomConference.com. April resides in Estero, FL with her husband and three daughters.