One of the major problems I often see when I talk with parents is that they forget that it is okay to have personal boundaries. Just because you are a parent does not mean you need to set aside who you are, all your needs and focus excessively on your children.
Although the starting point is a desire to show your children the most love you can and be the most attentive and best parent you can be the end result as you can guess is often a child who is whiny, does not take no for an answer and does not respect you and you end up exhausted, frustrated and angry.
This then makes you lose your confidence and self-esteem as a parent because your initial intention (the desire to be the best parent you can be) is not matching up with who you are in the world. This can be devastating.
The good news is there are simple corrections that I have seen to work time and time again (which I share in my book). Think of it as a balance. Open communication, compassion and caring are extremely important but if you are feeling frequently frustrated or are not enjoying parenting or your children take a look at one of two areas.
1) Are you taking good care of yourself?
2) Are you setting reasonable boundaries for your children that support your needs as well?
When I say reasonable boundaries, you have to determine what is reasonable for you. For example, I don’t like it when my children pull on my arm to try to drag me somewhere and show me something. So that is a personal boundary. If they do this, I immediately say, “Excuse me. I don’t like when you pull on my arm and I will not come when you do that. You can kindly ask me.”
For others that might not be an issue. But figure out what bothers you personally and then be ok with setting boundaries to protect your own well-being. That is reasonable!
Do you have any thing you’d like to share?